Pie Chucker

KP’s first day in charge. Having almost decided to pass the captaincy on before the game, after sharp criticism on PieChucker.com, it was certainly going to be interesting. The toss was lost and the great egoist Smith decided he would bat first. Personally. In Person.

Harmison was thrown the cherry. The first ball was cut straight at Cook, who spilled it. However, before the over was indeed over, Harmy thundered the new ball right where every Englishman has wanted to see it all Summer. Right in the clown’s jewels. Unfortunately Smith survived and probably felt good at 103-1.

It should be noted that with the exception of Broad, England and particularly Harmison bowled with accuracy and venom, but nothing was sticking.

Then Harmison returned. He got rid of the established Smith (the silly hooker) and then next ball got the other one out as Smith/Alma had crossed. And how! A 93 mph yorker leaving this. This brought Kallis to the crease. It was the immovable (overweight ugly bastard) object against the irresistable force Anderson. See you Kallis, and the rest of em.

All crap, that’s what South Africa are. 194 all out.

England lost another South African (Strauss) in their reply of 49-1. I believe the cricketing term for this position is “sitting on their face”.  Go England.